The Zen Life of the Giant Mosquito

Well, I wasn't attacked by it, but I did imagine that I was and it was pretty scary. Early in the evening while I was washing my hands in the bathroom, in the reflection from the mirror, I saw this gargantuan-sized mosquito on the back wall! I closed the door as I left the bathroom. Later I called Alec [I didn't call him just for that, cuz THAT would be really nerdy!] and mentioned it, I asked him if I should kill it, he said 'No!' Whenever I see a bug in the house, eg. crickets or spiders, I usually just put a glass over it, cup it and toss it out the front door! I don't usually kill insects unless they become a pest...

Then 2 hours past and I was just sitting in front of the computer, thinking of all these things to blog, all the possibilities... Put in a disc to check out some old images that I have, crappette!!, System Crash [Is this an official Mac term?]... While rebooting my slow-poke computer, I revisited the bathroom, the giant bug was still there!! [Not that it could pass thru walls and fly out of my appartment, but still, it could've hid under the rug or down the drain somewhere!!!] So I went to pee and started thinking: If I let it be, what if it attacks me in the morning while I'm half awake? You know these bugs can be very clumpsy and might just fly into your face when you least expect it... I would scream bloody mary! Y'know these giant mosquitos, they fly like they're jelly fish from underwater, they're not fast, with their long-ass legs and wings, they sorta just 'dangle' when they fly... SWAT!

So I opened the cabinet door underneath the sink to check for weaponry... I can Clorox it to death with my Disinfecting Spray, or use my other Clorox product, Clean Up, but I don't like that trigger, hard to aim... choices choices... finally I found Raid! Oh that poor little, I mean GIANT mosquito... I had a wad of toilet paper in one hand, thinking that I can catch it on the ground or something, and squish it to a quick death! I contemplated for a second then I sprayed it [with my other hand, of course] a bit, thought that was enough to kill it... the darn thing flew and flew and 'dangled' up and down and dangled some more... finally fell into the sink! I turned the water on, first cold... but the sink stopper didn't have enough space for the giant mosquito to fall in, I saw that it was still twitching...ugh! I didn't want to lift the stopper up either cuz the mosquito might just TOUCH me with its loooong dangly legs! Then I turned on the hot water, right now I'm thinking: Oh no, what have I done!!!, and now it's too late... It took about 20 seconds for the water to get real hot, I mean HOT-ASS hot, and all the while it was still twitching and refusing to go down... swirl and swirl, it just kept swirling to a dizzy, skin-boilin', chemical-infected death... [Sigh!] So much for a 'quick death'!

I felt bad and I felt like I've done something wrong! Why do we do the things we do? Little things can be troubling sometimes... But this little critter was still a life. Strange guilt! I didn't want it to suffer... I feel really terrible now as I'm writing, and maybe tomorrow morning, I'll miss the darn thing a little... Alright, for sure tomorrow I'll think of it for I took its little [short] life from it. I guess the death of this mosquito had provoked some things in me... For one, now I'll have to look within myself why exactly I had the NEED to kill the little sucker! Ooh ahh! Life's strange, and gets even stranger when you heart plays tricks on you...