Untitled

I Think I Just Pee'd!!!

Starry, Starry Night

I ordered one of those Timelife Music CD set with all the 70's classic hits... I ripped the ones that I love to my 'puter awhile back, recently I burned them onto CD-R's. Artists like Dan Fogelberg, Bread, Don Mclean, Cat Stevens, Judy Collins, Anne Murray, Rita Coolidge, Dan Hill, Gerry Rafferty, Gilbert O'Sullivan, The Commodores, Chicago and the like... too many to mention, all the good stuff, to me, all the really good stuff...

Take any song/tune that you remember dearly when you were growing up... May it be a commercial jingle, the theme to a television show, a timeless track or a no-namer... But that sound, that certain sound - the chorus, the lyrics, the music, the particular way the song was sang, the melody... The way it made you feel, way back when... Listening to it again, feeling good... remembering the good old days... your youth, the good times and the bad times... all rushing back with a single tune...

Rummage through your memory lane, the crevices of time, maybe you'll remember, maybe not. But when that certain song comes on, you'll know it then, you'll remember hearing it just like yesterday... It's strange, a whole lotta truth can be told from revisiting an old 3-minute song... happysad!

VINCENT
Starry, starry night
Paint your palette blue and gray
Look out on a summer's day
With eyes that know the darkness in my soul
Shadows on the hills
Sketch the trees and the daffodils
Catch the breeze and the winter chills
In colors on the snowy linen land

Starry, starry night
Flaming flowers that brightly blaze
Swirling clouds in violet haze
Reflect in Vincent's eyes of china blue
Colors changing hue
Morning fields of amber grain
Weathered faces lined in pain
Are soothed beneath the artist's loving hand

Now I understand
What you tried to say to me
How you suffered for your sanity
How you tried to set them free
They would not listen they did not how
Perhaps they'll listen now

For they could not love you
But still your love was true
And when no hope was left inside
On that starry, starry night
You took your life as lovers often do
But I could have told you Vincent
This world was never meant for one
As beautiful as you

Starry, starry night
Portraits hung in empty halls
Frameless heads on nameless walls
With eyes that watch the world and can't forget
Like the strangers that you've met
The ragged men in ragged clothes
The silver thorn of bloody rose
Lie crushed and broken on the virgin snow

Now I think I know
What you tried to say to me
How you suffered for your sanity
How you tried to set them free
They did not listen they're not listening still
Perhaps they never will

Written and performed by Don Mclean

Beautiful Thing

Whether you're gay or straight, a mother or a father who has a gay child, or maybe having teenage 'gay-angst', or just want to see a geniunely feel good movie, try this! It's been 7 years, and the movie is still one of my faves!! Also has a soundtrack with Mama Cass & The Mamas & The Papas... Sweeeet!

Image: Beautiful Thing, 1996

To Bridget

Remember love, remember love,
Love is what it takes to sing.

Remember love, remember love,
Love is what it takes to meet.

Remember love, remember love,
Love is what it takes to live.

Remember love, remember love,
Love is what it takes to dream.

Remember love, remember love,
Love is what it takes to see.

Remember love, remember love,
Love is what it takes to meet.

Remember love, remember love,
Love is what it takes to live.

Remember love, remember love,
Love is what it takes to fly.

Remember love, remember love,
Love is what it takes to live.

Remember love, remember love,
Love is what it takes to fly.

Remember love, remember love.

Love -
Remember love.

Love -

Love.

Remember Love; lyrics by Yoko Ono

The Dance

In a field of cinders where Armenian life was still dying, a German woman, trying not to cry told me the horror she witnessed:

"This thing I'm telling you about,
I saw with my own eyes,
behind my window of hell
I clenched my teeth
and watched the town of Bardez turn
into a heap of ashes.
The corpses were piled high as trees,
and from the springs,
from the streams and the road,
the blood was a stubborn murmur,
and still calls revenge in my ear.

Don't be afraid;
I must tell you what I saw,
so people will understand
the crimes men do to men.
For two days, by the road to the graveyard...

Let the hearts of the world understand.
It was Sunday morning,
the first useless Sunday dawning on the corpses.
From down to dusk I had been in my room
with a stabbed woman -
my tears wetting her death -
when I heard from afar
a dark crown standing in a vineyard
lashing twenty brides
and singing filthy songs.

Leaving the half-dead girl on the straw mattress,
I went to the balcony of my window
and the crowd seemed to thicken like a clump of trees.
An animal of a man shouted,
"You must dance,
dance when our drum beats."
With fury whips cracked
on the flesh of these women.
Hand in hand the brides began their circle dance.
Now, I envied my wounded neighbor
because with a calm snore she cursed
the universe and gave up her soul to the stars...

"Dance," they raved,
"dance till you die, infidel beauties
with your flapping tits, dance!
Smile for us. You're abandoned now,
you're naked slaves,
so dance like a bunch of fuckin' sluts.
We're hot for your dead bodies."
Twenty graceful brides collapsed.
"Get up," the crowd screamed,
brandishing their swords.

Then someone brought a jug of kerosene.
Human justice, I spit in your face.
The brides were anointed.
"Dance," they thundered -
"here's a fragrance you can't get in Arabia."

With a torch, they set
the naked brides on fire.
And the charred bodies rolled
and tumbled to their deaths...

I slammed my shutters,
sat down next to my dead girl and asked:
"How can I dig out my eyes?"

Text: Siamanto (Atom Yarjanian)
English translation: Peter Balakian and Nevart Yaghlian
Performed by Diamanda Galás - Defixiones, Will and Testament

Orders From The Dead

Image: diamandagalas.com Music: Diamanda Galás - This is the Law of the Plague

The Power to POP!

O yeah... My boss and I were talking today [actually for a couple of days now] that if we were to acquire some sort of super hero powers, what would we choose? His response was to be able to read people's minds... then he said it would be a bit much, and I agreed. It would be too overwhelming... imagine sitting in the middle of a baseball game - that oughtta drive him crazy... but of course it would be a 'selective' kinda thing - choose only the ones you want to read from... ahh!

Hmm... too boring for me. I want to be mean and nasty [am I not mean and nasty already you ask?!?], so I don't want some kinda fairy-like superpowers like karate choppin' people to death or something, or being able to morph into some dumb-ass animals or some stoopid shit like that. I thought about it over and over... hmm... I want to be able to 'pop' people's heads!!! Yeah, mentally [using telekinetic force, of course!] squish their heads and make them combust out of thin air with a mere thought... hee! Fast & painless [slow & painless wouldn't make much sense here would it?], a full-on bloody, pulpy mess!

Ooooooooooooh!

O of course I'm just going to use my newly acquired awesome narly bitchin' superpower on meanies only... "Now why did she cut me off like that? She almost caused an accident! Geez!" POP! "What is it now? You don't think my shirt goes with my pants? Maybe you're right!" POP! "No requirements? That's okay, who writes them anyway! [smile]" POP! "I said 'Super-Size'!!!!" POP! POP! POP! POP! POP!....POP! That would scare a lot of children... hmm... But in addition to all that, I might do some crime-fighting, as well!

Thank heaven we're all so blessed with vivid imagination, or else I would never ever get through a single work day! POP!

Both Sides Now

Bows and flows of angel hair
And ice cream castles in the air
And feather canyons everywhere
I've looked at clouds that way
But now they only block the sun
They rain and snow on everyone
So many things I would have done
But clouds got in my way

I've looked at clouds from both sides now
From up and down and still somehow
It's cloud's illusions I recall
I really don't know clouds at all

Moons and Junes and ferris wheels
The dizzy dancing way you feel
When every fairy tale comes real
I've looked at love that way
But now it's just another show
You leave 'em laughin' when you go
And if you care don't let them know
Don't give yourself away

I've looked at love from both sides now
From win and lose and still somehow
It's love's illusions I recall
I really don't know love at all

Tears and fears and feeling proud
To say, "I love you" right out loud
Dreams and schemes and circus crowds
I've looked at life that way
But now old friends are acting strange
They shake their heads, they say I've changed
But something's lost but something's gained
In living every day

I've looked at life from both sides now
From win and lose and still somehow
It's life's illusions I recall
I really don't know life at all

Text: Joni Mitchell; Performed by Judy Collins

Kaltes Klares Wasser

Music: Chicks On Speed - Pana Rip-Off

Underwater

Source File: Unknown

Music: His Name Is Alive - Drive The Dreamy Demon Down

The Cold Song

What power art thou
Who from below
Hast made me rise
Unwillingly and slow
From beds of everlasting snow.

See'st thou not how stiff
And wondrous old
Far unfit to bear the bitter cold.

I can scarcely move
Or draw my breath
Let me, let me
Freeze again
Let me, let me
Freeze again to death.

Text: Henry Purcell

Generally Speaking

Everybody wants to be someone special, to make something unique, to be the somebody that they think they are, yet they do not know. To be different - just like you, and I. To innovate, to create, to maybe somehow leave a mark in this world - before we die. Everybody wants to be themselves but, for most, somehow ended up being the person in the mirror...

The real you and the real me, the truth: No one knows but the self within ourselves. Everything is something new.

A Lil' Bit of Ice Cream, Everyday!

I think the highlight of my July 4th was when I saw one of my cousin's kids, Alexander... My aunt Susanna threw a BBQ for all of us and while everyone was eating, my aunt brought out a box of sugar cones and some ultra-rich Häagen-Dazs Vanilla Ice Cream...

Alex is a little over 4 and when he saw the ice cream, he immediately jumped off his chair and hurried over to my Aunt Susanna, standing patiently next to her with his tongue sticking in and out over and over... oooooh, iccccce creeeeam... The frozen treat was placed directly in front of me and I had a birds-eye view of Alex... all happy go lucky!

Well, seeing Alex like that got me thinking thinking: Gosh, the moment my aunt scoops the ice cream in to the cone, the second she handed the cone over to Alex, the instance Alex reaching over for the euphoric ice cream treat, he grabs a hold of it, taking his first lick... I can see it in his face: What was he thinking???

The world is simply PERFECT! As if nothing else matters... No worries about gaining weight, no thoughts about if he were to get a tummy ache after, no thoughts about anything whatsoever... nothing... but... ICE CREAM... NOW... everything is okay, everything is all right... it doesn't get any better than this... And I can see ALL that in his brightly-lit face!

Now if only we could have our versions of our personal 'ice cream treat' everyday, and grab a hold of that 'feeling' and clinging on tight... mmm...

Lied Vom Kindsein

Lied Vom Kindsein Als das Kind Kind war, ging es mit hängenden Armen, wollte der Bach sei ein Fluß, der Fluß sei ein Strom, und diese Pfütze das Meer. Als das Kind Kind war, wußte es nicht, daß es Kind war, alles war ihm beseelt, und alle Seelen waren eins. Als das Kind Kind war, hatte es von nichts eine Meinung, hatte keine Gewohnheit, saß oft im Schneidersitz, lief aus dem Stand, hatte einen Wirbel im Haar und machte kein Gesicht beim fotografieren. Als das Kind Kind war, war es die Zeit der folgenden Fragen: Warum bin ich ich und warum nicht du? Warum bin ich hier und warum nicht dort? Wann begann die Zeit und wo endet der Raum? Ist das Leben unter der Sonne nicht bloß ein Traum? Ist was ich sehe und höre und rieche nicht bloß der Schein einer Welt vor der Welt? Gibt es tatsächlich das Böse und Leute, die wirklich die Bösen sind? Wie kann es sein, daß ich, der ich bin, bevor ich wurde, nicht war, und daß einmal ich, der ich bin, nicht mehr der ich bin, sein werde? Als das Kind Kind war, würgte es am Spinat, an den Erbsen, am Milchreis, und am gedünsteten Blumenkohl. und ißt jetzt das alles und nicht nur zur Not. Als das Kind Kind war, erwachte es einmal in einem fremden Bett und jetzt immer wieder, erschienen ihm viele Menschen schön und jetzt nur noch im Glücksfall, stellte es sich klar ein Paradies vor und kann es jetzt höchstens ahnen, konnte es sich Nichts nicht denken und schaudert heute davor. Als das Kind Kind war, spielte es mit Begeisterung und jetzt, so ganz bei der Sache wie damals, nur noch, wenn diese Sache seine Arbeit ist. Als das Kind Kind war, genügten ihm als Nahrung Apfel, Brot, und so ist es immer noch. Als das Kind Kind war, fielen ihm die Beeren wie nur Beeren in die Hand und jetzt immer noch, machten ihm die frischen Walnüsse eine rauhe Zunge und jetzt immer noch, hatte es auf jedem Berg die Sehnsucht nach dem immer höheren Berg, und in jeden Stadt die Sehnsucht nach der noch größeren Stadt, und das ist immer noch so, griff im Wipfel eines Baums nach dem Kirschen in einemHochgefühl wie auch heute noch, eine Scheu vor jedem Fremden und hat sie immer noch, wartete es auf den ersten Schnee, und wartet so immer noch. Als das Kind Kind war, warf es einen Stock als Lanze gegen den Baum, und sie zittert da heute noch. -- Song of Childhood When the child was a child It walked with its arms swinging, wanted the brook to be a river, the river to be a torrent, and this puddle to be the sea. When the child was a child, it didn’t know that it was a child, everything was soulful, and all souls were one. When the child was a child, it had no opinion about anything, had no habits, it often sat cross-legged, took off running, had a cowlick in its hair, and made no faces when photographed. When the child was a child, It was the time for these questions: Why am I me, and why not you? Why am I here, and why not there? When did time begin, and where does space end? Is life under the sun not just a dream? Is what I see and hear and smell not just an illusion of a world before the world? Given the facts of evil and people. does evil really exist? How can it be that I, who I am, didn’t exist before I came to be, and that, someday, I, who I am, will no longer be who I am? When the child was a child, It choked on spinach, on peas, on rice pudding, and on steamed cauliflower, and eats all of those now, and not just because it has to. When the child was a child, it awoke once in a strange bed, and now does so again and again. Many people, then, seemed beautiful, and now only a few do, by sheer luck. It had visualized a clear image of Paradise, and now can at most guess, could not conceive of nothingness, and shudders today at the thought. When the child was a child, It played with enthusiasm, and, now, has just as much excitement as then, but only when it concerns its work. When the child was a child, It was enough for it to eat an apple, … bread, And so it is even now. When the child was a child, Berries filled its hand as only berries do, and do even now, Fresh walnuts made its tongue raw, and do even now, it had, on every mountaintop, the longing for a higher mountain yet, and in every city, the longing for an even greater city, and that is still so, It reached for cherries in topmost branches of trees with an elation it still has today, has a shyness in front of strangers, and has that even now. It awaited the first snow, And waits that way even now. When the child was a child, It threw a stick like a lance against a tree, And it quivers there still today.

Text: Peter Handke

Simple Man

"They made me wear a plastic bag when I visited him," recalls Joey Arias.

"I wasn't allowed to touch him. After a few weeks, he seemed to get better. He was strong enough to walk around. So he left the hospital and went home. His manager was making him sign all these papers, like we'll give you $500 if you sign your life away one more time. He developed kaposis [lesions associated with Kaposi's sarcoma, a rare skin cancer linked with AIDS] and started taking Interferon. That messed him up real bad. He had dots all over his body and his eyes became purple slits. It was like someone was destoying him.

He used to make fun of it. He'd say 'Just call me dotty Nomi.' Then he got real weak and was rushed back to the hospital. He couldn't eat for days because he had cancer in his stomach. Herpes popped out all over his body. He turned into a monster. It hurt me so much to see him. I talked to him on the night of August fifth. He said, 'Joey, what am I going to do? They don't want me in the hospital anymore. They pulled all the plugs. I have to stop all this stuff because I'm not getting any better.'

I had this dream of Klaus getting strong and singing again - only he'd be a little deformed, so he'd have to stay behind a screen or something. 'You'll be the phantom of the opera,' I told him. 'We'll do shows together again.' 'Yeah, maybe,' he said. But Klaus died in his sleep that night."

Text: From sperber was his real name

SIMPLE MAN [excerpt]
I'm, I'm just a simple man
I have to do the simple things that a simple man - can,
You, are holding out your hand
You want to know the simple things, and my simple plan, and...

I know there's so much to share
So what else can I do?

Yes I'm a simple man
Come now and take my hand
Now and forever, never to be lonely

Yes I'm a simple man
I do the best I can
Now and together, just remember only
That I'm a simple man

That I'm a simple man
I do the best I can
I got a simple, simple plan
I hope you understand

I'm just a simple man
I'm holding out my hand
It's such a simple, simple plan
I feel you understand

I can see you look to me,
So what else can I do?

Yes I'm a simple man
Come now and take my hand
Now and forever, never to be lonely

Yes I'm a simple man
I do the best I can
Now and together, just remember only...

It's so simple!