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40,000+ to 1

This morning when I was thinking about the 2 incidents - the death of Anita Mui and the quake that happened in Bam, Iran - I felt a sense of shame washed over me... Life, as it seems, is unbalanced in many ways, yet truth and beauty is always being shown there! Why do I feel more prone to one thing, and not the other?!? The frailty of life...

Farewell, Anita Mui

Anita Mui, an actress/singer from Hong Kong, diagnosed with cervical cancer just a few months back, died today from lung complications. In a concert she held last month, towards the end she came out wearing a wedding dress, singing her last song, and then told the audience that it's unlikely for her to ever get married... Her elder sister was also succumbed to and lost her battle with cervical cancer back in 2000.

I don't have a single CD of hers, nor familiar with any of her songs, but I do recognize her voice... Her vocal was very lustrous and deep... When she spoke, her voice was most distinctive, you can't miss it! I've seen more of her movies than hearing her sing... By far, Anita was one of the funniest and definitely the more talented entertainer in Asia. She was 40 years of age.

Goodbye for now Anita, may you find your road home...

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Music: Michael Andrews - Manipulated Living

You Little Shits

There are worlds within the world
Within the world there are worlds

The situation is the universe of man
As the measure of all things
Understand that you are another world in miniature
And that in you there are the sun, the moon and also stars
Man as the messenger of being
By analogy flesh and bones of man derive from earth
His blood from water, his breath from air
And body heat from fire

Text: Stereolab

Safari

I wrestle with words... they play games... I'm not good at putting thoughts down on paper... I think a thing a thought or two, I try to describe it, comes out a bit twisted and out of context at the end... after I edit the piece, then it becomes a weebit decipherable, though the grammar is still poor... I like to write, sometimes, an entry a day chases the demons away... I like taking pictures, at times... I love the stuff I hate, too, and I'm the common of all commoners.

At times I think I would like to write down my thoughts on what my days are like... the everyday's daily grind, but my days aren't very egg-citing. Get up in the morning, go to work, stare at the computer, eat, come home, stare at the computer more, eat again, stare at the computer some more, sleep... But if I were to, say, walk backwards, all day, as in performing all my tasks in reversed motion, that would be something interesting. Or maybe getting struck by a truck on the freeway, lying on the gurney half dead, on my way to the ER, that would be something different. Do hospitals have WiFi?

Tonight, I can sit and play the accordian, that wouldn't be so odd... I used to play actually, I still have the wretched thing, I was very good at it, too. But that was another Robert, more polite, a young lad that I once knew. Maybe I can sit and write about what I think other people might like to read... What would you like to read today? Tell me about your day... I'm thinking most people enjoy reading fun-knee snippets, including myself, tho I'm not very fun-knee! I hooked up my new computer 2 nights ago, it's lightning fast... but last night I busted it big time so I had to refront the internal mechanism, back to the original factory settings... It was bad, but the recovery process was very easy. That was egg-citing, sorta. Actually? No. I'm a nerd, I can't fuck up a computer, yet I did. Guess I'm more of a sex-pig than a 'puter nerd. See what I mean, that wasn't very fun-knee.

No interference. I'm going mad, or am I just feeling good today more so than others?

The Path

If I were to have a thought...

I would go back to being around 11 years of age, wearing my favourite tee shirt and shorts, white socks and dirty sneakers, riding my bike... without a worry in my head!

A pleasant day, on a trail to nowhere... with high trees around me... birds singing, a sunny day, breathing the air... smiling...

As I ride along the trail, I would see different scenarios of people... families, friends, strangers... and hey, there you are!!! Doing the things they love: Enjoying life... talking, playing, laughing, caring for one other, being alone, in contentment, and in love... at times saying hello or waving at me as I pass by...

Don't know where I'm heading... I take my time; aiming forward, yet looking back every now and then as I keep riding on my trusty ol' bike... Maybe to find the end of my trail, maybe not...

Teardrop

Love, love is a verb
Love is a doing word
Fearless on my breath
Gentle impulsion
Shakes me makes me lighter
Fearless on my breath

Teardrop on the fire
Fearless on my breath

Night, night of matter
Black flowers blossom
Fearless on my breath
Black flowers blossom
Fearless on my breath

Teardrop on the fire
Fearless on my breath

Water is my eye
Most faithful mirror
Fearless on my breath
Teardrop on the fire
Of a confession
Fearless on my breath
Most faithful mirror
Fearless on my breath

Teardrop on the fire
Fearless on my breath

Stumbling a little
Stumbling a little

Text: Del Naja / Marshall / Vowles / Fraser

Tempe

In years to come, when you have far surpassed your golden days, say, over 90, and feeling all the 'symtoms' an any 90+ year-old would feel... What would you do? In general, I'm talking about symtoms like fatigue, memory loss, feeling inactive, decreased judgement, misplacing things, disoriented from time to time, difficulty performing familiar tasks or even having problems with speech...

If one day, you have truly come to this - What can you do? Or shall I rephrase: What is left to do?

At then, who do you live for? Yourself? For others? What would you think about? You wouldn't think about what movies are opening this weekend, the lastest trend in fashion, or how your stocks are performing this week... Oh right, the grand children... but they'll have all grown up by then. The great grand kids? That is if you're lucky, and if so, would you remember their names? Most likely, maybe you would think about - Life, in retrospect [that's whatever you can remember, you think you remember, or whatever you can conjure up], and Death [the one true friend that'll wait for you 'til the very end of time]!

What was the meaning of life again??? Ah yes, that's it! But will I even remember?

There Are More Snakes Than Ladders

What'd you say
Do you know the way
Shall we quit this place

Play with toys
'Til we make no noise
And we won't lose face

You've gotta be joking
You've gotta be joking
You've gotta be...
Joking, joking
You've gotta be
Joking, joking

One and three
'Til you vote for me
And you won't fall down

Set you free
In a sour milk sea
Follow this year's clown

You've gotta be joking
You've gotta be joking
You've gotta be...
Joking, joking
You've gotta be
Joking, joking

There's more snakes than ladders
At this point in time
There's more snakes than ladders
Now we throw the dice

So uptight
Can't you see the light
You gotta turn around

Under rats
Handed to the traps
'Til we all sleep sound

You've gotta be joking
You've gotta be joking
You've gotta be..
Joking, joking
You've gotta be
Joking, joking

There's more snakes than ladders
At this point in time
There's more snakes than ladders
Now we throw the dice

There's more snakes than ladders
At this point in time
There's more snakes than ladders
Now we throw the dice...

Text: Captain Sensible & Tony Mansfield

Remember the Captain? He had so many great tunes for an under-rated artist! This song's almost 20 years old. 1984 to be egg-xact, the year I graduated high school... An import single [vinyl] back then was a mere $3.99 - you can barely get a Happy Meal with that price now a days! [Hey, what about a Happysad Meal? That would be fun-knee!] Kid: "What da @#$%!!"

So I just got this Captain's The Collection CD yesterday in the mail... So nice!! "Happy talk keep talkin' happy talk..." Hmm... can't explain it, well, maybe I can! It's just one of life's simple pleasures: To revisit something familiar and dear.

"If you don't talk happy and you never have a dream, then you'll never have a dream come true!"

Porn Blue

Y'know when you go buy porn [movies], you would totally checkout out who's hot and who's not on the covers before you make your purchase, right? [That would be the point wouldnit?] Then spending a good amount of time picking out the good ones from the mountain load of bad ones out there [wait, there is no bad porn, or is there?], finally you buy the one[s] with the kool looking guys [or gals] that are on the covers... ooooh!

Damnit... Don't you just hate it when you get home, you play the entire DVD, and so happened that he [or she] isn't even on the freekin' movie!!! What da?!? Ugggghhhhhh! Next time, I should read the reviews before I buy. #@$%!!!

Music: Captain Jack - Dream A Dream