March 30, 2004
Baby Asian Mix
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The bag's been in the fridge for at least 2 weeks... wilted, but doesn't matter, the pedes will still eat it! Looking into the bag, I found a ladybug clinging onto a leaf [so much for triple-washed!]!!! I picked it up but it wasn't quite moving... and then seconds later, there it goes...
Now it's finally free and that's a little something to be happy about!
March 29, 2004
Idle Hands
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After that I did some.. uh... 'frivolous' errands... Got my *spanking* [that's for you Wayne] new Circus of Books video membership card and rented a good few DVDs... woohooo! Can't really finish all 5, I'll have to copy some of them to my hard drive and play 'em later! Yeeeeeeeaaaaahhhhhhh! <-- that's the official *sex pig* version of "Yeah"!
After I blog t'nite, gonna write a few overdue email and upload Don Mclean's Vincent... someone asked me if I could upload the mp3 for her. [Gosh, downloading movies to my hard drive and now upload yet another mp3, going to hell 4 sure... woohooo!] Today I was wearing my UNION 666 tee too, it's a parady to UNION 76... heh!
Lastly, about the pix... I was waiting at the autobody shop, mostly by myself... I brought a couple of books [on Sufism] with me to read, but after that, I was feeling a bit bored and mischievous... Playing with my phone cam then *SNAP*...
So, before I go, I must have one of these!!! haha! G'night!
Music: Lush - Tinkerbell
March 26, 2004
A Post from the Present
Man, you enter the world reluctantly, crying, as a forlorn babe;
Man, you leave this life, deprived again, crying again,
with regret.
Therefore live this life in such a way that none of it
is really wasted.
You have to become accustomed to it after not having been accustomed to it.
When you have become accustomed to it, you will have to become used to being without it.
Mediate upon this contention.
Die, therefore, "before you die," in the words of the Purified One.
Complete the circle before it is completed for you.
Until you do, unless you have -- then expect bitterness at the end as there was in the beginning; in the middle as there will be at the end.
You did not see the pattern as you entered; and when you entered - you saw another pattern.
When you saw this apparent pattern, you were prevented from seeing the threads of the coming pattern.
Until you see both, you will be without contentment --
Whom do you blame? And Why do you blame?
Hashim the Sidqi, on Rumi
--
A previous entry from early last year, something I've been thinking about as of late. I think this is one of my all time favourite 'teaching'. Hard to egg-xplain, yet it's always nice to return to the same familiar place for a [re]visit. Kinda like moving and observing, by sitting still with closed eyes...
Yes, like the circle of life, and I hope you'll find it as much meaningful as I do.
March 24, 2004
Superblast!
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You don't know
You don't know
I'm in my home
All the time, on my own
Low finger fine
Take what's mine, from behind
You don't know
You don't know
It's not there
You don't care
You're still inside of me
Beneath the cotton core
My pictures smile at me
And soon they'll rise and soar
Fill up my space
Turn around, fade and trace
Be absolute
Blue and white, fatal fruit
She nylon smile
Full of lies, shining eyes
Cover my grin
Take a chance, maybe win
It's not there
It's not fair
You don't know
You don't care
Text: Emma Anderson mp3 [4.8MB]
--
Ahhh... KICK ASS!!! Make you run... make you cum....
March 23, 2004
Untitled 0029
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There, something semi-original. I love the smell of plastic.
Music: Air - Sexy Boy
HA HA HA!
A blonde goes into a world wide message center to send a message to her mother in Poland. When the man tells her it will be $300, she exclaims, "I don't have any money. But I would do anything to get a message to my mother in Poland."
To that the man asks, "Anything?" And the blonde says "Yes... anything!" With that, the man says "Follow me." He walks into the next room and tells her, "Come in and close the door." She does!!
He then says, "Get on your knees." She does.
He then says, "Take down my zipper." She does.
He then says, "Go ahead... Take it out." With that, she takes it out and takes hold of it with both hands.
The man then says, "Well. Go ahead!" She brings her mouth closer to it, and while holding it close to her lips she says, "Hello? Mom?"
--
Hehe... made me chuckle! O and check out these commercials... Ikea [1.1MB] and Maryland Cookies [3.8MB]... and this big-ass explosion happened in Las Vegas back in 1988... Just something to look at!
Yeah, nothing original tonight... hmm... and the girl from the Ikea commerical is a blonde... hee!
March 22, 2004
Untitled 0028
For now... toodle pip!
Music: Weezer - Don't Let Go
Thought For The Day
Today someone commented on this particular entry from last May... Thanks Catherine! :-)
Guess I really have to think about it now before I write her back!
March 19, 2004
Untitled 0027
Nothing short of randomness...
March 17, 2004
Kaltes Klares Wasser [reprise]
dig my fingernails
into the armpit of America
let down your hair
hang on for the ride
Concorde take-off
plastered to the back of my seat
pink finger nail polish
on your right breast
eating your pussy
and all around us
saturated
in
kaltes klares wasser
all over my demented
intentions
strong legs standing on my bed
golden shower all over my face
big water
used a little
water
entrails pressed to the floor
silicon, silicon
silicon suction
the unwanted curves
exposed by
kaltes klares wasser
[über meine körper]
arrested and released
my body
bleeding all over your best rug
by the fire
my body is burning
and you pour
kaltes klares wasser
all over me
chill me out
cool me down
no feeling no control
my body is a weapon
waiting at your door
hold me under
don't let go
kaltes klares wasser
kaltes klares wasser
kaltes klares wasser
kaltes klares wasser
Text: Malaria! & Chicks On Speed
Instrumental
I've been listening to a lot of music in the evening lately, especially right before I fall asleep, and tonight is no egg-ception. I usually pop a CD in the portable and put my lil' earphones on, and drift off 'til the second I fall asleep. Dreeeamy...
Just now I was listening to my Night Music compilation in the dark, and it got me thinking about my ex - Gary. We were together for over 3 years. It was heaven, and it was hell. So while listening to this particular track in the dark, it got me thinking thinking about him. The so-called love, the mystery of it all... I cried and cried so much back then, heart was perforated and heart was torn. I kept telling myself to give my 110 percent, but only to realized that there's simply no such a thing...
But now when I think back, seems like I've forgotten about the 'love' that I had for him. I cannot remember why! I think I HAVE 'forgotten' about the love... Sad innit? I want to believe that I loved him... How can I be sure? If you believe you have loved a person so deeply, how can you ever forget?
I have dis-associated with him long ago. I want to say I loved him......... I've devoted a lot of time and energy into that relationship, but it seemed like it was never enough. Once I was thinking of putting our television [one of the few remaining items we had left] in the tub and filling it up with water, I didn't... and the next day, it was pawned for drug money. I gave it my best [to my knowledge at the time], but it was never enough... It takes two, not one! Many a times I told myself that things cannot get any worse, well, you can imagine what follows...
Anyway, this isn't meant to be a rag session... Y'know what? I've been through dark times, but I also know that there are many, many others that had it a whole lot worse than I did. I don't considered myself lucky, but blessed, and I would not have it any other way. Gary is a good person, he was just a bit lost and I was simply following a false dream. So here is the song, and it's a really lovely tune.
FALL IN LOVE WITH ME
Ease your lips into a velvet kiss
While I enfold you
Move your hands across this promised land
The seekers guided by the pole star
Say the words why don't you say the words
I have been waiting long to hear
Please fall in love with me...
Drift with me upon an endless sea
We are divine in the realm of these senses
Every move has been subterfuge
While we pretend that we really dont care
Lose your fear we may be strangers here
But I can feel we might be one
Please fall in love with me...
I hear the sound of moons falling
Surrender to this charm
I breeze across your soul darling
Deep eternity
Lost your mind well don't you think it's time
To swim away from the safety of these beaches
Trust the tides they know which way to flow
And don't you long to flow so far
Moved by waves we've never felt before
Till we are floating way out deep
Please fall in love with me
Please fall in love with me
Please... with me......
Text: Booth and the Bad Angel
March 15, 2004
Stille Nacht
Nothing to report. Not so manic Monday. Some links for your viewing pleasures! Some are not safe for work. Yikes!
Funny and Strange Trading Cards
...and last but not least...
The Best Educational Film... Period! People say this is a bit less gory than The Passion of Christ. I beg to differ!
March 12, 2004
March 11, 2004
March 10, 2004
Folks
This past weekend I was over at my mom and dads' new place. They just moved into a smaller house. At the other place it was much bigger, and my eldest sister and her family were staying there, a nice thing - to keep my folks in good company.
I was over to set up the computer, and by far my dad is not computer savvy, me neither really, but I get by. Last month I bought him a new computer, the other one that he had was a dinosaur [wait, that's right, my dad's the real dinosaur! heh!]. Anyway, I've been my dad's technical support for the past 3 years almost, and this past weekend I was asking him if he knew how to do a 'Save As', and he answered with an animated smile: "No!"... GRRRRRRR [I rolled my eyes!]... But hey, I guess that's okay cuz he's my dad, right? He's bright enough to retrieve and send out his email, do a little surfing here and there... That's plenty good for a man his age. He doesn't really need to do anything else I spoze! But believe me, when he calls me every few days and I try to egg-xplain things to him over the phone, it ain't an easy task for both of us. There were times I would speak REALLY loudly in Chinese, repeating the same thing like 5 times as if he's hard of hearing, and next to me Alec would be like: "Whaaa??" or "O stop screaming at your dad!"... ugh!
Wait, what was I trying to say? Oright. So I was hooking up his computer, deleting all the crap that's been pre-installed and installing what is needed, etc. Getting his email to work and so forth. My 3 year-old niece was there and she was sitting on my lap. My other sister was there too and she took a picture of my niece and I with my cell phone and wanted a copy of it. So I sent the image to my sis via my phone and cc'd one to my dad. A minute later, there it was, right on the screen. My mom was there standing next to me and she was simply astounded...
"How on earth does it... How does the phone...?!?" she asked me. I told her briefly what went on and a few seconds later she simply nodded. I think she got it, more or less. She's always been the 'handyman' in the family. My dad's good with books and numbers, and my mom's tough[er], she works well with her hands and likes to solve things. [She used to be the head-seamstress for good ol' Mr. Blackwell for a few good years!]
When I was much younger, I've always thot that my mom was real hip, the hippest woman in town... She was very slim and she looked really good in those Chinese cheungsam [from old photographs], but as I grew older, in my eyes, she sorta transformed into this 'other' woman... Seemed like her tastes in clothing had changed... Her mannerism is not as 'classy' as she used to be... hard to explain. She just seemed a bit - 'outdated'. Terrible of me to say such things, but I remembered thinking of these things. Couldn't help it. She's my mother, and I love her just the same.
She doesn't really need to know how the picture from my phone got into the computer. She needn't care to know about Google, Martha Stewart... not care about gay marriage or even who's gonna be our next President of the United States in this November election [tho I do think she's actually more interested than I am cuz she reads the Chinese newspaper religiously!]...
She cares about the little things... Like how much salt to put in the dishes that she's preparing for us to have for lunch... She cares about the weather to see if it's going to be warm or cold, so she knows how much clothing to put on my little nephews and niece... She cares about if we're hungry or not every hour on the hour, even though I just ate and I'm almost forty and being the youngest kid in the family...
My dad is 75 and my mom's going to be 72 this year. In general, I think the older the people get, the more childlike quality they [re]possess. A lot of times my folks do the strangest things, and to them, somehow their illogical behaviors become logical. I'm very fortunate to have them as my parents, and that they're still around and healthy for each other... and for me! Of course my mother still nags and I get all frustrated over the phone at times when my dad calls with his technical questions, but I don't care... I once heard my ex brother-in-law said something about my parents: "You can't teach an old dog new tricks!", that may be true, but maybe sometimes it's better to just simply love them for the old ones, for who they are... Someday, if I'm lucky, I'll turn out to be just like them.
Love. Always.
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March 09, 2004
Think Green Petticoats
Christmas trees? Available at your local nursery! NOT! [wmv file] Impressive!!!
Also check out the Petticoat Pond... There are girls, and there are guys! Wild eh? Don't say that I didn't warn ya!
A Chat with Wayne
Last night I installed MSN Messenger, just to see if Wayne was online. Voila! There he was... We IM'd each other for a good 20 minutes... It was very nice! I remember way back when I was on AIM all the time... chatting awaying with.... strangers!! [yikes]
I haven't done it in more than 5 years now. Chatting with Wayne was a bit strange... but it was a good strangeness. He's adorable and cute as a button... He has this digit-cam and was showing me his panda [no, not THAT one, the plastic one!]... he was moving it all around in front of the cam, way too fun-knee... He's a good guy all around, and hopefully we'll get to talk some more as time goes by.
He also mentioned that he's coming out to southern Cal to visit his family in April or May. I told him that I would take him out to grub... heh! It'll be an egg-xperience! I feel like a big brother!
Did I mention that he's cute?
Total Eclipse
It's finally here... The Nomi Song! Well, not actually here in the US yet, but was shown at the Berlin Film Festival early February. I'm a huge fan to say the least! No one else can do a better rendition of Wizard of Oz's Ding Dong [The Witch Is Dead] than Nomi. Actually, don't think anyone ever has!?! Let's go see it all together when it comes out!!! woohooo! Can't wait!
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Image: The Nomi Song
Music: Klaus Nomi - I Feel Love [live]
March 08, 2004
All The Flowers In The Sky, Part III
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Somehow, it made me think about my evenings... During the week when Alec's away, I have the whole place for myself, maybe it's terrible to say, but it feels good [but y'know it feels better when he's around!]... Just doing the things I do... even the mundane things like making dinner [to eat, or not to eat! chili cheese fries with a fatty burger? heh!], sitting in front of the computer surfing the digital space, listening to music... Mostly quiet times, and it feels soooo great!
Just want to say...
Image: aurorawebcam.com
March 04, 2004
The All-Seeing Eye
Remembering...
When my grandfather died almost a decade ago, everybody had to go to this particular temple somewhere near downtown Los Angeles, and we would sit for hours, listening to these monks [women and men] chant for hours and hours long, from morning 'til dusk; every weekend for 6 weeks straight... Back then I was a weebit younger, and all I wanted to do at the time was to like, have lunch, and goof off with my cousins... Y'know, who listens to this stuff anyway?!? I have no patience [and I want it NOW!! heh!], and am forever working on it...
Last weekend when I visited my folks, afterwards I stopped by this other Chinese temple, Hsi Lai, not too far from their place. I knew that they have a gift shop there so I stopped by, wanting to get a CD or two of the [chanting] music, etc. I've been wanting to get the music for the past couple months for some reasons, but never really got the chance [not that I can get it at Amazon.com or download them off iTunes!]. Got there just before they closed. Asked for some assistance and I got what I wanted. They had quite a many, so I just took the clerk's recommendations. She didn't speak any Cantonese and my Mandarin is poor, but we communicated nonetheless.
I listened to the CDs while driving home... The lyrics are included in the booklet, but these are 'big' Chinese words, words for scholars... Most of the characters I cannot read and decipher their meanings... The monks sing in unison... While listening to certain tracks, I cried... It's the same chants... Remembering the time when I was at the temple in Los Angeles, listening to the chanting, and 'paying my last respect' to my grandfather...
Thinking back, I also remember at the time when my grandfather was staying with my dad, towards the end when he was quite ill, I had to take him to see the doctor... My grandfather still had the strengths to dress himself up properly [and he was always so immaculate; slacks, dress shirt with a tie and suit wherever he went!], but on that day, for the life of him, he just couldn't manage the last button on this shirt, the top button - and I had to help him... It was so sad... to see my grandpa so helpless, brought tears to my eyes...
Listening to the music right now, a flood of memories came back to me. It's good... I think 'to remember', is a good thing, even though it was unhappy times... It can make you stronger - if you want it... and to feel 'things'...
I went to Catholic school when I was little, had bible study almost as a daily routine, and I don't think I had learnt a thing to tell you the truth. But at the same time while back at home, I was raised as a Buddhist, and it has been a long while...
Many 'entities', one race!
It's good music, and I'm just listening...
March 03, 2004
Sheepfilms
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Images: Sheepfilms.co.uk