Untitled

Continuation Day

Mon, 31 Jul 2006 09:11:02 -0800

It's been three and a half years long, and what better day to say goodbye - than today. Life is but many pivotal points. Thank you everyone who stopped by. May it be a brief moment, short or long time visitors, everyone has something special to give. Thanks for all the kind words, you being so thoughtful and caring. I probably would not have gone on writing for this long - without you all. But there's no goodbye, just continuation...

Well said by the Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh: "No birth, no death, no coming, no going, not the same, not different, no being, no non-being." And it seems like I write and I write, just to come to this point.

I have arrived. I am home.

Goodbye, For Now

Wed, 26 Jul 2006 17:33:35 -0800

I told her not to be afraid, and she said she wasn't. She passed away last Thursday night with her 2 sons next to her, while holding their hands.

Have you ever heard the sound of someone's death rattle? And I realized that one can never warm the hands of the leaving.

Goodbye Medina. I love you! Always!

Medina

Thu, 13 Jul 2006 07:17:01 -0800

On My Way

Wed, 12 Jul 2006 08:12:13 -0800

I was granted the time off to go see my aunt. My folks are also going and we'll all be flying out tomorrow night, flight at 11.40pm. I'll be in Melbourne for 10 days and my mom and dad will be staying 'til the end of August. To clarify, my Aunt Medina isn't really my true aunt per se. She was adopted by my grandmother when she was just a small child. Her parents weren't able to care for her because of the physical/financial hardship [I believe it was during war time as well]. So ever since, she's been with us as part of the family. She's more like a big sister to us 4 kids cuz she's not much older than my oldest sister. She looked after us whenever she could... and she did. We only call her our 'auntie' because of our high respect for her... and so much.

So I'll be on my way tomorrow!! I just checked my passport which I renewed 2 years ago, this one expires in 2014. Y'know, by then, I'll be 48 years of age. Looking back, looking forward, life is such an amazing journey... a fantastic journey. No matter how grand of a writer one is, life itself cannot be put into words, in any form, in any way. So whatever may come, I'm enjoying every bit of it.

Take care everyone, take really good care of yourselves cuz everyday IS a wonderful day. See you all when I get back.

Much luff.

Life Is Death

Tue, 11 Jul 2006 07:30:46 -0800

My cousin Alex called me last night asking for my dad's cell/home numbers. He said the doctor told him just now that my aunt's condition had worsen. My dad said they'll most likely fly out this Thursday. Osmond saw her mother a few weeks ago but had to get back to work in HK. He was planning on going back on the 28th of this month. Alex called him last night and told me that Osmond will be flying out tomorrow instead. I hope he can see his mother before she passes. I'm hoping, or maybe I shouldn't. I feel like praying, then I find myself asking: "To 'whom' shall I pray to?" I wish that I could leave this week, but I can't.

Death is okay, death is inevitable, death is life, but why the physical pain? Maybe if there's no pain, there's no healing.

Life is what it is.

Die A Little

Mon, 10 Jul 2006 22:28:14 -0800

Y'know every moment we die a little, and some days, we die a lot... but we keep going. This past Friday night my sister called and told me that our beloved aunt Medina is stricken with liver cancer. She lives in Melbourne, Australia, and she was just here with my other aunt this past September. We had no idea...

My parents and I visited her and my uncle when I was about 8, but the 30 years that I've been in the United States, I've never once saw her again in Australia [tho she offered the 2 times that she's been here since Alec and I met]. All these years that I've been here, I think I saw her like 5 times the most.

The 4 kids, me being the youngest, regard her as our favourite aunt cuz we were the closest when we were little! We all grew up together and she treated the kids like she was our big sister!! She was adopted by my grandmother when she was just a child, and ever since, she's been living with us in HK until she got married around 1976. She's not doing so well at the moment. A few months ago, my aunt told my mom that she was sick, but not with cancer or my mom would've freaked. My mom told us about my aunt's sickness just recently, but she told us that she's supposed to be getting better.

My sister was crying uncontrollably on the phone. I had to tell her to stop it so I could understand her [I know, terrible me!]. We were devastated, but if someone's not composed, the other person has to. Well, that's my excuse for telling her to stop sobbing. She came over Sunday and we talked to one of my aunt's 2 boys. She literally had to beg my little cousin Alex to tell her the truth about his mom, cuz his mom told him not to disclose any information on her condition. My sister finally got the information out of him.

Good boys. They were with us when they were babies. I remember I used to give the older boy Osmond a hard time cuz he was such a brat. Then again, he was like, what, 4? Now he's in HK and the younger one in Melbourne with his mom. Both are in their early twenties. They both love their parents so much with such understanding and respect. I love those boys. Really good kids. I think they're both in shock these days cuz when I talked to them, they both spoke nonchalantly - lifeless. Everyone can tell that they have a special bond together with their parents when they're all around each other. Respecting your parents and at the same time, parents respecting their children, for a lack of a better work, is simply so comforting to see... and they show. Sad to see them losing their mother so soon.

Anyway, to end the story, my parents and I are flying out to see my aunt on the 21st cuz we all can't go sooner. I hope we make it on time.

Smorkin' Labbit's In Da House

Fri, 07 Jul 2006 07:49:16 -0800

The above is a new addition in our home. No one knows, but we have a thing about little rabbits in our tiny household. Not really sure how/when it got started... so these days, we have a few in our mini collection. We shall put this one up, proudly, on display. *cracks whip*

On a 'musical' note, how often do you end up loving all the tracks from an entire CD? bleh. Not too often. But I really like this one: Soulwax's Nite Versions. I've been listening to them for the past 2 days... all the electro-rock yummy-goodness.

This weekend Alec and I are planning on seeing Strangers With Candy... and so will Greg, well, cuz he told me! heh! Have a wonderful weekend everybaudy.

Bondage Gimp Labbit: "TGIF!"

Current Music: Soulwax - Nite Versions

Not Instant Coffee

Mon, 03 Jul 2006 08:25:37 -0800

Love is not a thing you can do. But when you do other things, love will happen.

There are small things you can do--sitting together, looking at the moon, listening to music--nothing directly to do with love. Love is very delicate, fragile. If you look at it, gaze at it directly, it will disappear. It comes only when you are unaware, doing something else. You cannot go directly, arrowlike. Love is not a target. It is a very subtle phenomenon; it is very shy. If you go directly, it will hide. If you do something directly, you'll miss it.

The world has become very stupid about love. They want it immediately. They want it like instant coffee--whenever you want it, order it, and it is there.

Love is a delicate art; it is nothing you can do. Sometimes those rare blissful moments come... then something of the unknown descends. You are no longer on the earth; you are in paradise. Reading a book with your lover, both deeply absorbed in it, suddenly you find that a different quality of being has arisen around you both. Something surrounds you both like an aura, and everything is peaceful. But you were not doing anything directly. You were just reading a book, or just going for a long walk, hand-in-hand against the strong wind--and suddenly it was there. It always takes you unaware.

Text: Osho

Somehow this reminded me of that song Lookin' For Love by Waylon Jennings. heh! I've always told myself that I can look, by not looking, whatever that is... And also certain things that I can do, by not doing, whatever they may be... Forget the notion about 'finding that special someone', I believe that if one keeps doing the things he/she genuinely loves, in time, everything will happen in its own accord. But hey, that's just me.

Current Music: Altered Images - I Could Be Happy [Extended]

Happy Wednesday

Wed, 28 Jun 2006 08:51:10 -0800

Got my new plates last week. I'm so happy. Just don't follow me when you see Robert on the road.

Current Music: The Hope Blister - Friday Afternoon

Living In The 80's

Tue, 20 Jun 2006 20:12:50 -0800

This is pretty close to being in heaven... or hell.

Altered Images, New Order, Aztec Camera, B-Movie, Blancmange, OMD, Fun Boy Three, Klaus Nomi, Propaganda, Diamanda Galas, Siouxsie, The Psychedelic Furs, Cocteau Twins, Flying Lizards, Toto Coelo, Roxy Music and many more... Whew! Who's your favourite? Bookmark the page, NOW! :-)

Have you ever noticed how beautiful the music [guitar/string] is in the song Heaven by The Psychedelic Furs? Maybe. Maybe not. Watching these videos just now almost brought tears to my eyes... Enjoy!

Current Music: The Psychedelic Furs - Heaven

This Old Shirt

Fri, 16 Jun 2006 22:12:34 -0800

I found the shirt above while going thru my closet a few nights ago. A tee which I made about 10 years ago. About 20+ of these were printed professionally, all sent out to my friends and coworkers that Christmas. I saved one for myself. As I recall, I only wore it one time. Dunno why I'm talking about it now. It was a long ago.

PS. The above picture was taken late 2003, then posted on my previous blog.

Current Music: Roger Eno & Kate St. John - We Stay Still

Awareness

Mon, 12 Jun 2006 08:42:53 -0800

There is nowhere to go; we just have to see where we are. If you become aware, then you suddenly recognize that you were already there, just where you have been trying to reach.

One is born as one should be--nothing has to be added, and nothing has to be improved. And nothing can be improved. All efforts to improve create more mess and confusion and nothing else. The more you try to improve upon yourself, the more you will be in difficulties, because the very effort goes against your reality. Your reality is as it should be; there is no need to improve it. One simply grows in awareness, not existentially.

It is as if you have not looked into your pocket and you think you are a beggar, so you go on begging, and in your pocket you are carrying a valuable diamond that can give you enough treasures for your whole life. Then one day you put your hand in the pocket, and suddenly you are an emperor. Nothing has changed existentially, the situation is the same--the diamond was there before, the diamond is there now. The only thing that has changed is that now you have become aware that you possess it.

So all growth is growth in awareness, not in being. Being remains exactly as it is. A Buddha or a Christ, you or anybody, have exactly the same state, the same space--but one becomes aware and becomes a Buddha, the other remains unaware and remains a beggar.

Text: Osho

Have you found the diamond in your pocket? Happy Monday.

Current Music: Brian Eno - Winter Music

I Really, Really Like My Air Freshener

Thu, 08 Jun 2006 09:35:32 -0800

"Delicately scented with the aromatic essence of a beautiful spring meadow." Imagine that!

Soulwax still going strong!

SOULWAX LIVE - Get Yer Yo Yo's Out!
David Bowie - Genocide intro
Buy Now - For Sale
Who Made Who - Satisfaction
Franz Ferdinand - The Fallen [Justice edit]
Les Rhythm Digitales - Jacques Your Body
Soulwax - E Talking
Tiga - Louder Than A Bomb
The Kaiser Chiefs - Every Day I Love You Less And Less [Boyz Noise remix]
Booka Shade - Maderine Girl
Primal Scream - Rocks
The Clash - Rock The Casbah
Alex Gopher - Dust
Madonna - Hung Up
Les Visiteurs - Pharrells Acid Drop
Lil Louis - French Kiss
Mylo - Drop The Pressure
Pig And Dan - Micro Kitchen
The Prodigy - Smack My Bitch Up
Switch - A Bitch Patchy
Tiga - Pleasure From The Bass
Technotronic - Pump Up The Jam
Aphex Twin - Window Licker
LCD Sound System - Disco Infiltrator
Afrika Bambaata - Planet Rock
Vitalic - Fanfares
The Undertones - Tennage Kicks
Cut Copy - Going Nowhere [Digitalism remix]
Josh Wink - Higher State Of Consciousness
Rapture - House Of Jealous Lovers
Soulwax - NY Lipps
Alex Gopher - Dust
New Order - The Beach / Blue Monday
Abusator - Sweet Light
Blur - Song 2
Vitalic - La Rock 01
AC/DC - You Shook Me All Night Long

Current Music: 2 Many DJ's presents - Soulwax Live

A Grand Day Out

Wed, 07 Jun 2006 08:23:20 -0800

Kris dropped by for a couple of days before he met up with his cousin last night. They flew out yesterday evening to the Philippines for some family matter! I hope that he had a good time here.

Picked him up from the airport late Sunday morning. Took him to Weho and had lunch at the French Quarter Restaurant. No big whoop! After that we walked around on Melrose Avenue. He got a really kool black tee, with an illustration of a girl blowing her head off, blood splattering into 'butterflies'... My kinda shirt! Later I took him to Amoeba Music for some yummy music goodness. Kris said the place is just way too overwhelming. heh! He didn't buy anything... Was debating whether I should get the new Dirty Sanchez, but decided not to... I got 2 Many DJs' Get Yer Yo Yo Out! instead. Say Rey, you have/want that one? Lemme know.

Monday I went to work and Kris just stay home by himself. Poor guy. He washed the dishes in the sink and brought in our trash bins!! What a nice kid, have I mentioned that already? Your mom did a wonderful job raising you my friend! heh! Yesterday I played hookie and I took him out again. First we headed out to Hollywood's Wacko for some giftshoppin'. He bought a few things including a mini-plush Ugly Doll for himself, heehee! I got Alec a Frank Kozik shirt with the Smorkin' Labbit! :-) Right after that, I took him out to Canter's for some good ol' matzo ball soup, and a half hot corned beef sandwich. Mmm mmm good for the tummy. After that, we stopped by The Grove for more shopping ideas, but neither of us got anything! Let's see, last but not least, we drove to downtown LA and walked around and took pictures of the Disney Concert Hall, and across the street, MoCA. Darn place was closed tho, but we had fun at the outrageously-overpriced museum store. I guess! :-)

I'm so glad that he decided to stay a couple nights here before he flew out. I hope I didn't make him nervous or anything. I know that meeting new peeps can be quite nerve-wracking experience at times! Anyway, so glad that you made it here Kris! Alec and I very much enjoyed your company. Take good care and 'til next time my friend! Oh and I hope you like the CDs!!

I Wanna Be A Dj, Baby

Fri, 02 Jun 2006 08:15:41 -0800

I think I'll end the week with a more 'upbeat' post. I'm not always this serious y'know [see last post]. Ask anyone and they'll tell you that I can be such a clown. Anyway, the concert was great. Alec ended up coming with. The music isn't really his cuppa tea, but I think he came with cuz he was worried about me being out so late by myself. :-) HNIA ended up playing at around 11.30pm. Ugh, but they did play the Bunny Song, and also the one about The Bleeding Heart... Magical! I even bought a tee shirt from Warn. He was manning the merchandise 'booth', heh. I asked him to sign my shirt. I can tell he was a bit hesitant and wary on not ruining it. :-)

Anyway, 2 opening acts... I was ready to scratch someone's eyes out cuz the 'noise' that the first band put out was downright painful, my ears must've bled for hours after that. Fuck the pain away..., I wish I can sing like Peaches. Did you know that she was a full-time teacher for 10 years?

Awhile back Dr.P asked if I could send her the 2 Many DJ's discs again cuz hers got damaged. This weekend, I promise, I have them packaged all up already in front of me. So before I go, give it a listen. It's good for ya! heh! Have a wonderful weekend everyone.

RADIO SOULWAX - PT. 1 [excerpt]
Salt n' Pepa vs. The Stooges - Push It Like A Dog [Soulwax mix]
Felix Da Housecat - Silver Screen Shower Scene
Bobby O - She Has A Way
Bobby O - I'm So Hot For You
Madonna - Vogue
Daft Punk - Aerodynamic
The Beatles - Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band
808 State - Flow Coma [AFX mix]
Lio - Anour Solitaire
Missy Elliott - Lick Shots
Elastica - Connection
Basement Jaxx vs. The Clash - Magnificent Romeo [Soulwax mix]
The Jamie Starr Scenario - Welcome To The Light
The Jacksons - State Of Shock
World's Famous Dj Team - Radio Promo
The Beach Boys - God Only Knows [A Capella]
Michael Jackson - Billie Jean
Carlos Morgan - Shake Your Body Down
Nasty Habits - Shadow Boxing
B-52's vs. Natural Born Chillers - Rock The Funky Beat
Alpha Wezen - Into The Stars [Firebirds mix]
David Bowie - Modern Love
Kenny Loggins - Footloose
Hairy Diamond - Givin' Up
Freelance Hellraiser - Stroke Of Genius
Kosheen - Hide U
Nas - Hate Me Now
T99 - Anasthasia
Marilyn Manson - Beautiful People
Janis Jay - Fly Too High
The Spice Girls - Wannabee
Girls On Top - We Don't Give A Damn About Our Friends
Notorious B.I.G. - Hypnotized
Dj Kool - Let Me Clear My Throat [Dj LBR mix]
Breakestra - Cramp Your Style
Hanayo - Joe Le Taxi
Klien & MBO - Dirty Talk
New Order - Blue Monday / The Beach
Basement Jaxx - Jus 1 Kiss

Current Music: 2 Many DJ's - Radio Soulwax 01 [excerpt]

RADIO SOULWAX - PT. 2
Emerson, Lake & Palmer - Peter Gunn [live]
Basement Jaxx - Where's Your Head At [Head-A-Pella]
Peaches - Fuck The Pain Away
Velvet Underground - I'm Waiting For The Man
Polyester - J'Aime Regarder Les Mecs
Sly & The Family Stone - Dance To The Music
Ready For The World - Oh Sheila [A Capella]
Dakar & Grinser - I Wanna Be Your Dog
Ural 13 Diktators - Disko Kings
Bobby Orlando - The 'O' Medley
Felix Da Housecat - Silver Screen Shower Scene
The Stooges - No Fun
Salt n' Pepa - Push It
Hanayo - Joe Le Taxi
The Jets - Crush On You [A Capella]
Funkacise Gang - Funkacise
Soul Grabber - Motocross Madness
Lil Louis & The World - French Kiss
Zongamin - Serious Trouble
Garbage - Androgyny [Thee Glitz Mix by Felix Da Housecat]
Frank Delour - Disc Jockey's Delight Vol. 2
The Residents - Kaw Liga [Prairie mix]
Carlos Morgan - Shake Your Body
Alpha Wezen - Into The Stars [Firebirds mix]
Intestellar - Concepts
Nena - 99 Luftballons
Destiny's Child - Independent Women Pt. 1 [A Capella]
10cc - Dreadlock Holiday
Dolly Parton - 9 to 5
Royksopp - Eple
Arbeid Adelt - Death Disco
Jeans Team feat. MJ Ian - Keine Melodien
Skee.Lo - I Wish [A Capella]
Maurice Fulton Presents Stress - My Gigolo
The Breeders - Cannonball
The Cramps - Human Fly
The Wildbunch - Danger! High Voltage
OP:L Bastards - Don't Bring Me Down
Adult. - Hand To Phone
Vitalic - Le Rock 01
Queen Of Japan - I Was Made For Loving You
New Order - The Beach
Detroit Grand Pubahs - Sandwiches [A Capella]
Lords Of Acid - I Sit On Acid [Soulwax mix]
Streamer feat. Private Thoughts In Public Places - Start Button

Current Music: 2 Many DJ's - Radio Soulwax 02